Exactly the reason Steroline would be so unhealthy- watch Caroline choke down her actual feelings to do what he has asked her to. She is forced to COMPLIMENT Elena on HER dress. Her actual feelings, the impact this has on her? Secondary to his agenda.
This is getting more and more overt as season 4 wears on, but it’s not new in their relationship- it’s been like this since she says, “I’m not girly little Caroline anymore” to try to reassure him in 2x13.
That kind of imbalance in a relationship? Not okay. :/